“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou
If you’ve heard of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you’ll know there are five predominant ways people give and receive love.
The list includes:
- Words of affirmation (e.g. being told how much you are loved or appreciated)
- Acts of service (e.g. mowing the lawn or cooking breakfast)
- Quality time (e.g. spending a duvet day together)
- Physical touch (e.g. massage and cuddles)
- Gifts (e.g. receiving an unexpected present).
Now, when it comes to gifts, people have mixed feelings, for some, they wouldn’t consider receiving a diamond necklace is particularly loving – and that a relationship based on the exchange of gifts could seem like a transactional relationship, perhaps even, a relationship where an unsuspecting victim is being lured in by a gold digger. However, not all gifts have to be expensive in order to be meaningful. Think of how it feels to receive a mud pie from your child or a picture they have drawn – gifts are often about intent.
No matter how long you’ve been together, gifts can always be a catalyst to connection, but they don’t have to be fancy. Imagine your spouse keeps having nightmares due to being stressed at work, and you go for a walk on the beach together, collecting little twigs and shells. He has no idea what you’re doing, and might even feel a little ignored, but then, a few nights later you present him with a gift wrapped in tissue paper that is a homemade dream catcher that you then place over his side of the bed. Whether or not the dreamcatcher will work is another matter, but how loved, cared for and nurtured would this make that person feel?
The other aspect of finding loving gifts for men is that they don’t have to be physical items, they could be experiences. Indeed, if your husband’s love language is quality time, what better way to spend quality time together than doing something fun like organizing an adventurous activity for the two of you such as white water rafting, race car driving, or ziplining.
The main difference between romantic gifts rather than a romantic experience is that the gift is a tangible token of your love, care, and commitment that will always be there whereas, an experience, whilst fleeting, creates magic moments that you can both treasure for the rest of your lives.
Over to you
When you think back over your relationship, do you think of the physical gifts you received or do you think back to key experiences, such as the first time you made love together, your first holiday, or the time something bad happened but your partner was there to help get you through it?
See, life is made up of experiences, and the more magical moments you can have together, the stronger and more fulfilling that relationship will be. Yes, it’s nice to receive gifts, of course, but the next time you’re considering what to get your partner for Christmas, or his birthday, or your anniversary, consider getting an experience that will light him up, and ideally, one that you can enjoy together.