On 10/15/2012, we celebrate the sixth annual Blog Action Day, a yearly event where thousands of blogs around the web-o-shere write about a particular issue to increase its global focus and attention. This year’s theme is The Power of We!
The Power of We is a celebration of people working together to make a positive difference in the world, either for their own communities or for people they will never meet half way around the world.
So why have I decided to participate, you ask? Because the first thing I thought about when I saw the theme was that ‘We the People‘ (sounds like I’m getting ready to start the preamble eh? LOL) all across the world need to create better relationships with each other.
There is such a breakdown of relationships nowadays (familial, romantic, business, and personal) that we MUST do something now before we run each other into the ground! People are complaining about how it’s hard to get along with others and are more hateful, aggressive and violent toward others, and it’s simply sad.
In order to effect global change, let’s first start in our own backyards. Helen Keller was on to something…
Self-Centeredness – the main cause of chaotic relationships…
Yep, I went there. Think about it.
Self-centeredness, self-confidence, being selfish – all terms that are sometimes used interchangeably and get a bad rep.
Although I do believe that being selfish to a point and thinking about self first is vital to living a successful life because you have to take care of self first before you can do so for others. However, I also think there is a balance that’s needed between being completely self-centered and being a martyr.
In our Western cultures, it seems that people have this holier-than-thou, narcissistic view of themselves which results in judgement, hatred, envy, and careless attitudes towards others.
So ultimately our relationships with family, friends, business associates, and romantic partners suffer. When everybody is thinking, “It’s all about me!” how can we create and build genuine, trusting relationships with others?
Ways to relate better with others
It’s not the end of the world though. We can turn this around! We can co-create a world where we play better with each other, help each other grow, have more fun with each other without all the negativity.
So here are some ways you can start relating better with others:
1. Know your own worth first and then you can start to value others
When you value yourself and know your worth, other people will too. Not only can does knowing your worth allow you to value others, but it also allows you to start to understand others more easily. You’ll realize that everyone is valuable and just like you want to feel valued, so does everyone else. Once we all realize this, we can all live in better harmony with each other!
2. It’s all about giving (without having your hand out for the taking)
Bonnie Copeland, of My Rivendell, recently had a Birthday Hangover (you have to read her post to see what she means by that!) and shared several things she did as a result. I was completely inspired by her acts of kindness and compassion she showed perfect strangers including sharing her gift cards with the person behind her in the grocery store line, giving people compliments, saying thank you to someone, and one my favorites, simply smiled at everyone she saw! She did so much more that I’m sure you’ll be inspired to do some of these seemingly SMALL things, which could end up being a really BIG thing for others!
Not only do simple things like this go a long way but it shows others that you’re taking stock in what they have going in life and investing time and/or resources in them. You never know someone’s plight and what they’re going through. You can really be a beacon of light in someone’s life by doing small things.
3. I love you/I thank you/I Appreciate You/I forgive You
Think about the last time someone said these phrases to you. How did you feel? I bet it was great to feel loved and appreciated right?
Since you know how it feels then, why not say it to someone else? It doesn’t take much really. Move PRIDE and EGO out of the way and just let it rip! Go ahead, the other person is waiting!
4. Be YOU
In the end, there’s no relationship you can fix without fixing the relationship with yourself first, meaning get comfortable being you – ALL of you!
When you are comfortable being yourself, it shows to others. They get a sense that you’re REAL and they want to relate with you more. Being your real self also portrays confidence and who doesn’t like to be around confident people? I sure do!
Stronger bonds are created between authentic selves!
Warning: Being YOU also means there will be people who won’t like you but guess what? SO WHAT! Keep being you and keep creating positive, loving relationships anyway. 
5. Want more?
Pick the Brain offers 5 ways to build better relationships with everyone! Check it out.
What are doing to create better relationships?
This is where I ask solicit implore, yes that’s the word I’m looking for, you to get you involved. How can you start today, right now to create a better relationship with at least one person? That’s where it starts. Just one…weigh in family!
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I absolutely agree with you Lakesha. And especially when it comes to giving. If we think too much about why and what we will be getting from the relationship, we will end up starting with a horrible relationship. I believe that if we start out by just giving, and not think about anything but giving, we’ll get love and happiness. I have so many examples of that, and I have some examples of the opposite as well
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Jens P. Berget recently posted..Social Metrics Pro – More Traffic From Social Media
Loved the advice about the ways to relate better with others! Yesterday I participated in the TEDx Kyiv where I loved the speech by the social innovations who said “Give more than you take”! I also think over several advice, with some references to the practical examples of the project implemented by people who actually give more than they take and cooperate with each other! http://olenaursu.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/discover-the-power-of-we/ Thanks for sharing your post!
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Olena recently posted..Discover the Power of We
Your timing is perfect as always.
I am struggling with a decision whether or not to continue being part of I am currently part of. Your share of 5 ways to build better relationships with everyone! has helped tremendously. Thank you as always boo!
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Hey Lakesha,
This post is powerful:) I love the topic and the potential that comes from understanding/mastering it.
When we understand that we are valuable and beautiful just as we are the reality changes. When we get that others are just like us and mostly, connected to us then magic happens
Love the part with giving unconditionally your best: love, appreciation, smile, knowledge, skills etc. In the book, “The Go Giver” Bob Burg said something great: giving makes you attractive in a natural way.
Thank you for sharing these tips!
Peace and joy,
Radu
Hi Lakesha, I really liked your post. I just wish the more and more people could realise these simple things and become more powerful as they come together with others.
Yes! When we’re just out for ourselves, we can’t help, love, or connect with anyone else. And there’s a huge difference between watching out for our energy (self-ish ness) and thinking the world revolves around us (self-centeredness). I dig what you’re laying down, lady. <3
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That nasty scarcity mentality (which has been perpetuated by the media and those who already have most of the $$$ in order to keep us scared and easily malleable) has a terrible way of creating walls around people, forcing them to feel like they have to protect themselves. It’s those walls that are alienating them from the very people they need . Although we can’t change people, we can influence them. So I do my best to collaborate with folks to put on events in our downtown and smile at folks as I take my 4 mile walk around the lake every day. Great post, Lakesha!!
How can you start today, right now to create a better relationship with at least one person?
Hi Kesha, in my case I think it might be a case of letting water go under the bridge and remembering blood is thicker than water. I have a family member who did some naughty things but for whatever reason they aren’t putting them right. I’ve become aware that I can continue to keep my distance (which actually isn’t achieving very much in the way of change), or just reach out and embrace them regardless of their shortcomings. Obviously I still hope for change though.
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Hi Kesha
What a wonderful post. I went and checked out the Birthday Hangover.
I totally agree we all need to think about giving first. We thought we could slap up a website and “Presto” we would be rich! Surprise, we found out we needed to be friends with people first.
I think just giving a smile to people when you wouldn’t normally have done so is a start in the right direction and it can just grow from there. Making a difference in someone else’s life makes a difference in your own.
Mary
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What a wonderful share Kesha and I can see why you would want to participate and write something about this topic. Heck, had I known I would have definitely gotten in on this one. Bummer!!!
Now when I read your first one about being selfish I know you and I have already had discussions about this. We definitely have to take care of us first so that’s where our selfishness comes in but we definitely are not in any other way. Always eager to help others, we should be given a nickname or something!
In my short time on this earth (hey I can dream right) I have learned that no one can do this alone. Can you imagine never having a relationship with another person or thinking that everything you undertake you have to do it alone. No help, no advice, no reaching out to others! Dang, what a miserable place this would me.
Hellen Keller definitely got that one right.
Thank you so much for sharing this topic with us even though I’m a little late to the party! At least I arrived fashionably late!
Enjoy your week Kesha and thanks again.
~Adrienne
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