I saw this image over on Facebook and totally fell in love with it and knew I had to put it up on the blog.
If your presence can’t ADD value to my Life, your absence will make NO difference.
Whoever originated this was spot on! We don’t need people in our lives who don’t add value, who suck away our energy, and leave us worse off than than ever before. And likewise, we don’t need to be in others’ lives without adding value to theirs. Tit for tat guys!
I have no time for BS, foolishness, drama, etc. so when it’s time to get rid of the “Devaluers” (yep, I just made that up! 
), I can’t be sad or mad about it. Things in life like this are necessary to stay sane sometimes LOL.
Know anybody you can eliminate from your presence?
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You must be reading my mind…I just BLOCKED someone on facebook the other day because this person wanted to use my blog to get back at me because I deleted one of his comments on my personal fb page. It’s totally inappropriate to talk about that on my blog. He just wanted to argue with me. It’s a blog…come on!
The article that caused so much attention: http://bareyournakedtruth.wordpress.com/2012/03/04/walk-this-way/
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Nicole Luongo recently posted..The sky’s the limit
I am not surprised at the things negative and hateful people do. Good you blocked him!
I agree with you.
I hear ya! I recently ended a friendship, because I realized that I could no longer tolerate her mean girl energy. It became a chore dealing with her, because I knew when I answered her call, I would get the pleasure of listening to her petty complaints.
When she called me to trash a woman’s small business just in the spirit of being mean, I realized that I’d had enough. As a woman growing a small business, I wanted to support someone who was realizing their dream. My “friend” didn’t have any legitimate complaints, she was just being mean.
Not only was she not adding value to my life; my growing dislike of her wasn’t adding value to her life, so it was time to go.
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Kimberly Gauthier, Adventures in Blogging recently posted..Why will I see higher conversion rates if I associate my blog posts with Google Plus?
Ugh, don’t you just hate when you get a call from a person that instantly sends you into defense mode or something???!
I say, the faster we can move those types of people out, the faster we can get some supporters in
~Kesha
I learned years ago to remove toxic people from my life. What I’ve also learned is that I have to get out of my own head sometimes and stop draining my own energy. When I’m in a negative cycle, I step back and reevaluate. Sometimes the energy vampire is YOU! Whew, I’m feeling a little faint today, but I know tomorrow is a chance to start anew:)
Oooooooh, I like that you pointed out sometimes we are our own “devaluer”! While it can be very easy to see the error in others’ ways, we have to be realistic and see that we can be part of the problem. Now although we can’t get rid of ourselves, I like your approach of stepping back and evaluating the situation to get back on track.
As always, love your feedback!
~Kesha
This is spot on. I like the tit for tat. This thing works both ways.
Sometimes people are out to use, but it all comes out in the wash, sooner or later.
Thanks for sharing and glad I found your blog!
Take care,
Evelyn
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Evelyn recently posted..Before There Is Success, There Must Be Preparation
And I am grateful for you stopping by Evelyn!! Yes, the truth always comes to light (unfortunately for those ‘devaluers’ that try to come around us)
Talk soon,
~Kesha
I totally agree!! I had to learn this one the hard way–and since I’m a giver at heart, it was no easy feat! But I’m so very glad that I learned to get (and keep) the people out of my life who were not adding value. I have now problem with it now: I’ll say “SEE YA!” very fast!!
Thanks so much for sharing this one!
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MELISASource recently posted..Analyze This | The Brothers from Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds Decoded
That’s good to hear Makeba and here’s a follow up question for ya: what were some of your thought patterns or things you had to do to get you to the point where you now say NO with no problem?
I’m always curious what other people’s processes are. My change was a long process of entertaining guilt trips but then slowly but surely expressing to those around that it wasn’t fair to do that to me and/or avoid them altogether whenever possible.
~Kesha
The biggest and most important thing that I did to get to this point was to gain a much better understanding of my value: who I am and what my emotions, time, and energy are worth. Another one was my heart–I had to finally get fed up with giving so much of myself only to get very little (if nothing) in return. Going through those processes really helped my mindset and brought me to the place that I am now.
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MELISASource recently posted..Analyze This Part 2 | The Brothers from Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds Decoded
That’s what’s up Makeba! That’s an awesome reflection and until we really understand our value/worth, we’ll let people walk over us and treat us in ways we don’t need. So glad we don’t to have to worry about that again
Thank you so much for sharing deary!!
Love this post! This is easy to do when it’s a friend or acquaintance but what does one do when it’s an immediate family member?
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msfullroller recently posted..Gettin’ Outta Debt pt 4-The Contingency aka Emergency Fund
Same question I had as I had that same problem! I used to feel bad about not wanting family around but seriously, why should we tolerate disrespect (or anything else) just because we share blood?
It can be challenging if the person/people are immediate family members. In this case, avoidance is not possible so direct communication is needed first. If that doesn’t work, maybe suggest a 3rd party to intervene on your behalf, or lastly and ultimately, you have to figure out what works for you and follow through. Is it a divorce that’s needed, shipping teens to therapy, telling a parent that you love them but you can’t be around them often?
These are my suggestions. Does this help?
Yes, it helps a lot!!
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msfullroller recently posted..Getting Outta Debt pt 6- Airing Dirty Laundry…Debt