“There is a term in the English language that we use to refer to the negative issues and conditions that one brings along with them to a new relationship. It’s a term that indicates unresolved conflicts, interpersonal issues and ghosts from our past.” - John Sklare, Lifescript
It’s called Baggage!
We all have it – that “stuff” we bring with us as we travel from relationship to relationship. We’re all bag ladies or bag guys. But to what extent?
Are you the epitome of a bag lady or guy? The one who continues to collect emotional baggage and carries its burden with him/her everywhere he/she goes, causing subsequent damage in new relationships, romantic or otherwise?
Erykah Badu’s Bag Lady is the best song I know which depicts how relationship baggage can be damaging. I’ve included the video of the song below for your listening pleasure
A snippet of the lyrics from Bag Lady:
Bag lady you gone hurt your back
Dragging all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you, is you
Bag lady you gone miss your bus
You can’t hurry up
Cause you got too much stuff
When they see you comin
****** take off runnin
From you it’s true oh yes they do
The theme here is that one can’t move forward in a new relationship with all the nonsense he/she holds on to from old ones – i.e. the effects of dishonesty, distrust, low self-esteem, disrespect, betrayal, lack of self-love, rejection, abuse – I can go on but you get the drift.
The worst is when people are in denial and blame everyone else for their continued failed relationships. It’s always someone else’s fault. I am often shocked and appalled that these same people don’t realize they are the control or the consistent variable in this equation which is what needs to be checked, not everyone else!
Erykah Badu – Bag Lady
Getting rid of emotional baggage
John Sklare suggests we all do a personal baggage check. Declare one piece you no longer want to carry with you so you can start traveling lighter with less personal baggage.
So the million dollar question is what are you ready to leave behind to lighten the emotional baggage load? Do you recognize even when its there and rears its ugly head? How has it affected you? Think about the baggage you carry and identify one piece you would like to let go. Please feel free to share! I’d love to hear your thoughts.