If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
Have you ever found yourself complaining about people who complain a lot? *raises my hand*
Oh, so you’re gonna let me be the only one with my hand up??? Get ’em up. Yes, YOU.
Hypocrites! 🙂 Yes, I’m sure we all are guilty of not just talking about but also complaining about people who complain.
You might reason, erroneously I might add, that it’s okay because you’re tired of people talking about things over and over again without doing anything about it.
But do you see the issue here? Let’s try it this way…
Complain (v): Express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.
So as we express our dissatisfaction of those who complain, we ourselves have committed the same crime. Sooooo, now do you see the issue?
Note: For those for whom a direct explanation is needed, this, in essence, means we become a hypocrite so own up to it. LOL
“Complaining is an epidemic in our world. Most of the complaining we do is just a lot of “ear pollution” detrimental to our happiness and well-being,” states Will Bowen, author of How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted.
A Complaint Free World
This topic actually came up because I found a website, A Complaint Free World, and got too excited about its mission:
…help people create a positive change in their lives by becoming Complaint Free.
This is pure EPICsauce! (
stole borrowed this from my girl Crystal who coined this word!) 🙂
The proposal is to go 21 days without complaining. You know, because it’s been shown that 21 days is the timeframe it takes to create a habit. I’m in; are you?
So I bought the book and some of the purple bracelets and off I go on my own 21 day challenge. I just finished the book and am starting today and so far so good!
The 21 Day Challenge
How can we become complaint free? It’s as
easy simple as pledging to not criticize, complain, or gossip for 21 days and and wearing your bracelet.
“The purple bracelets help us set a trap for our own negativity so it can be caught and then released, never to return.” Will Bowen
Your “purple bracelet” can be anything you choose to symbolize your commitment – a rubber band, bracelet, or a shoe string – whatever floats your boat. However, if you do want a purple bracelet, you can order them on the Complaint’s website.
Whenever you find yourself doing any of the forbidden things, move the bracelet to the other wrist. Some of you may be moving that thang every 5 minutes of your day. Hopefully, you’ll become more aware of when and why you do this which helps change the behavior! However, if you do complain, the challenge starts over at day 1.
So check yourself before you wreck yourself!
Along with the challenge, Bowen talks about the 4 stages of competency which are:
- Unconscious Incompetence
- Conscious Incompetence
- Conscious Competence
- Unconscious Competence
You have to read the book to really get the gist of these four stages but just know that in anything in life that requires change or starting something new like this challenge, you go through these stages.
The Problem With Complaining
So what’s really wrong with complaining? As Marcie, one of Bowen’s assistants states, “Thoughts held in mind produce after their kind.“
Bowen also states, “When you complain, you are using the incredible power of your mind to seek things that you say you don’t want but nonetheless draw them to you. Then you complain about these new things and attract more of what you don’t want. You get caught in the “complaint loop” – a self-fulfilling prophecy of complaint: manifestion, complain: manifestation, complaint: manifestation, and on and on it goes.”
What You’ll Learn
A Complaint Free World is the bomb! Imagine what it would be like to actually go through life happier and enjoying every moment. How would your life change? Well, Bowen lays out a way we can achieve this. Here’s what you’ll learn in his awesome book:
- Why we complain
- Benefits you think you get from complaining
- When what you’re saying is a complaint versus just a statement of fact << very important!
- What the 4 stages of competency are (seen above) in regards to this challenge
- Why victims don’t become victors
- How to get others around you to stop complaining
- Why complaining is safe
…and so much more…
Watch Your Friends
Bowen also highlights a very powerful lesson you should watch out for like an eagle. In the book, he shares that he could hang around some people really well and be successful with the challenge while others caused him to reevaluate his relationship with them. Why? Because he found they were incessant complainers and expressed dissatisfaction and ultimately portrayed a heck of a lot of negativity.
You know what happens when you surround yourself with pessis (pessimists, negativists, complaintists << yep, I just made those up) – you start to act like and/or absorb that same behavior. So remember above when I said so far so good on my challenge so far? Well, I have a feeling that some people in my extended circles are really gonna put me to the test and may have to be removed. FYI – if you feel I’m not talking with you as often as before, then just know that it’s YOU I’ve removed! :p
But wait, there’s more!
There’s even a downloadable widget on their website for you to track your progress, connect with others, and receive inspiration. So cool and I recommend you check it out!
Try this exercise
Bowen challenges us to change the words we use and watch our lives automagically change!
For instance, among other examples in the book, instead of using the word problem, use opportunity.
Instead of setback, use challenge.
Instead of pain, use signal.
Instead of ‘You did this,’ use ‘I created this.’ << Love this one as it flips the script on ya and makes you hold yourself accountable for your own actions!
Over to you…
“…good things happen for you in abundance if you can just leave your grumbling behind,” excerpt from How to Stop Complaining.
So check out A Complaint Free World (Facebook, Twitter) for yourself and join me on this challenge. I’m sure you can fathom the need to live in a complaint free world by now right? Over 6 million people have taken the challenge and completed at least one round of 21 days without complaining, gossiping, or criticizing. Guys, this is HUGE! Our world can become a much better, healthier, happier place if we committed to banishing the complaints, [hurtful] criticism, and gossip. Will you? Can you go a day, week, 21 days without complaining?