be-unbreakable

Recently, I was put down by someone close to me which caused me to doubt my ability to achieve a certain goal. Though the person most likely didn’t mean to shoot me down or cause harm, it still felt like I was slashed multiple times by a machete, pain seemingly lasting a veeeeeery long time.

It took every bit of me to remember my ongoing journey of developing a thicker skin. I knew I had to pick myself up and get back on track with my visions. So the other day, when I was doing some online reading, I found an article describing how to be unbreakable and it resonated with me greatly. Synchronicity at its best that I found the article just when I needed it!!!

So I wanted to share with you guys as well and hope it helps you just as much as it helped me! Enjoy!

hand drawn purple line

Do you have an unbreakable spirit? Has anybody ever put you down, and it has caused you to give up on something? Has anybody made you cry?

Most of us have experienced this and probably more so when we were younger. It’s a love-hate emotion knowing that we get wiser as we get older. There’s a quote that says: With age, comes wisdom, but sometimes age shows up all by itself! – Tom Wilson

I am on a high from some of my Savor the Success friends because they told me I had an unbreakable spirit. In my 30 years of living that was the first I have heard that about me. I felt warm, uplifted, and honored that these successful, strong women thought so highly of me. I believe any woman can have an unbreakable spirit with some awareness of her intelligence.

No, I’m not being arrogant, and I still have low moments where my spirit isn’t always as high, but I am pretty darn optimistic when it comes to my life and my business. Not everything I do or touch will be right. I have and will fail at things, but it’s the way I handle the situation at hand and continue to move forward that keeps my spirit unbreakable.

Here are 3 tips on how you can have an unbreakable spirit:

1. Drive, Ambition, Passion: I believe it takes a drive and ambition to use towards a passion. On the other hand, when you have a passion, you have drive and ambition. They go hand-in-hand in my eyes. If you have a passion, then you can understand that the majority of us who have a passion also have an unbreakable spirit. Why? Because we have a dream, we see a big picture, we have visions, and nobody can break that. If you don’t have a passion then ask yourself, “What makes me smile? What gives me a natural excitement? What can I do over and over that won’t make me sick or bored of it?” Find it. Because if you don’t have passion, then what do you have in your life?

2. Positive, Optimistic, Realistic: Yes, I understand that life happens and you can’t always be positive and optimistic, but you can be realistic. Being realistic, along with being a dreamer, can easily fit into your daily, mental routine. Work on looking at life, your situations, and experiences as the glass half full, not empty. Go with the flow, go with your gut, enjoy the journey you choose, and you will have an unbreakable spirit.

3. Focus, Be In Tune, Tune Out: Think back to a time when you were focused. Can you remember the feeling? Can you remember the zone you were in? Did anybody break that focus? The one thing I can assure you is that if you are focused on a goal, nobody can stop you. No excuses. Live your life each day the way you want, but most importantly live each day mentally the way you want. Tune out “them” – the negative voices in your life. There is no room for the the negative voices. So focus, stay in tune, tune out the negative voices, and you will have an unbreakable spirit.

Susan Vernicek is the founder and owner of Identity Magazine, the online magazine designed to empower women to Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.™ Identity Magazine’s articles and insights reflect the important philosophies of self-love and self-help. They are meant to guide so that you see yourself in the best possible light, as you always should. So celebrate your lives, your bodies, your successes and failures!

Over to you…

How have you learned to be unbreakable? What other advice can you give? Please share in the comments below!

Wassuper, it’s yo girl, Kesha and I believe we should Be the Fruit Loop in a world full of Cheerios because life is more interesting when you dare to be different and challenge what’s “normal!” I am wildly passionate about helping highly driven women pursue fantabulous relationships, juicytastic careers/bizzes, and authentically inspired lives. Let’s rethink, redo, and reinvent YOU so you can live life YOUR way!
Be Unbreakable
  • Great post. It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes…

    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
    Eleanor Roosevelt

    • You always bring the goodness Kim and I love it! Thanks so much because this I needed to hear. YOU ROCK! 🙂

      ~Kesha

  • I can relate to everything written in this post and the best thing I can advise is to go in to a trance like state and visualize the worst “put down” scenario while seeing your person unmoved by it and smiling…do this for at least 21 days and you will become more un-breakable, I promise…

    Nice post on a nice blog from an “uncommon chick” 🙂

    • Thanks so much for your advice Caleb. I truly appreciate it! When I realize that most of the time, the other person is unmoved and I’m the only one who is feeling annoyed, I tend to get over things pretty quickly 🙂

      Hope to see you back soon!

      ~Kesha

  • Kudos to you for this one! It was a wonderful reminder of Agreement #2 in The Four Agreements: Don’t take anything personally!!!! It’s freakin’ fantastic to see how things change and you’re able to rock and roll like a mo fo when you let things roll riiight off of you. Here’s to an unbreakable Saturday! 🙂

    • And an unbreakable Saturday it is Eyenie! Yes, I love it when I can go back to old writings for a refresher of how to “rock and roll like a mo fo” LOL Thanks girl!

      ~Kesha

  • Your very first point about someone doubting your ability to achieve your goal is important for each of us to remember. Our words are powerful! We can help people up or we can tear them down. Sometimes we feel it is necessary to tell someone “the truth about themselves”. Ask yourself first, are you doing it in love? An example: I am a track coach. I have a young man on my team who is quite fast, but I don’t believe fast enough to be a 100M dasher. I could just tell him he is too slow, but I believe that if he will train, he could be an incredible 400meter guy! Possibly even the conference champion. Helping him to achieve a goal that he doesn’t even have yet without crushing the goal that he does have is tough. Thanks for the great post! Love the way you laid it out!

    • Ooooh, yes, great example with your track student Burl! If we’re not being supportive, we have to ask what our true reasons are that we tear others down.

      I’m so glad you added this scenario to the discussion. For that, I greatly appreciate your feedback!

      ~Kesha

  • Love this post. Receiving a put down from someone we care about (or who cares about us) is one of the most challenging things to face on earth.

    I learned something really powerful a few years ago (and it’s really practical). I think I heard it first from Dr. Wayne Dyer, but I’ve heard it elsewhere since then.

    What someone else thinks of me has nothing to do with me. Another way of saying this is what someone thinks of me is none of my business.

    When I face someone who is angry, hurt or disappointed, and I feel myself becoming emotionally engaged with the drama, I try to stop back and say to myself, “wait a minute…this has nothing to do with me.”

    From there it’s often easy to create a new reality.

    • Awesome perspective Steve! “…what someone thinks of me is none of my business…” is spot on! I love that 🙂

      Here’s to creating new realities when we need them!

      ~Kesha

  • Good day Kesha,

    Phenomenal post! The easiest thing for me to say would be, “Ignore people”. But I also know that ignoring other people’s insecurities is an art form that takes a lot of practice.

    So here’s how I’ve come to be “unbreakable” and also how I’ve learned to ignore some people.

    I dropped the need to focus on other people’s expectations of me and what they think I should be doing; some of which, they themselves couldn’t even carryout and wanted me to do so.

    I accepted that I’m only human and can only do what I can, and that I have the power of how I would allow other’s to make me feel.

    I changed my perception and audio intake of what people bought into my space. This one required a bit of discipline on my part, because I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. I couldn’t, some one else probably can. I had to stand firmly on what I allowed people to bring to me, and it required me to cut back serious time spent with certain people I loved dearly. I only cut back from these individuals because of what they were consistently bringing. But I also had to understand that some people couldn’t love me like I wanted them to or needed them to love me.

    Most people think that just because you say you love someone, that gives them the right to say and treat that person anyway they deem necessary. I had to learn my worth, and know that I deserve to be supported, appreciated, and continuously and consistently pushed to be the very best I could possibly be.

    Once I learned how to love and appreciate myself, I demanded other’s to do the same. If they couldn’t do this, then I simply learned to love them from a distance.

    This may be a bit harsh for some people, but it worked for me. Once I did this, those that would support me started showing up, but they didn’t start to show up until I rid myself of all of “the noise”. I guess they couldn’t show up before, because I was surrounded by people that I had to wear a shield whenever I was around them. That’s not the way I wanted to go through life, nor was it the way that I… or anyone else should have to go through life. It’s not us that need to be unbreakable (in my opinion), it’s some of the things and people we attach ourselves to and that are attached to us, that needs to be broken away. 🙂

    • First, D, I must say I love your comments! 🙂 I can use your comment as a whole new post (don’t be surprised if I do it and you come back and see your face as ‘guest poster’ LOL)…

      Thank you for sharing how you’ve learned to ignore people. I agree it’s an art. It has taken me a while to learn (and I’m still learning) how to do it.

      What’s crazy is that this skill is (will be) mostly used on those closest to us! That’s what’s so shocking. I know I probably shouldn’t be shocked because a friend had to explain to me that those closest to us know our buttons, know how to get under, over, and around our nerves, and know exactly what to say to get us going. Why they choose to use their power in that way is beyond me but I digress 🙂

      I’m loving that last line re: not us being unbreakable but breaking away from people we attach ourselves to. That’s what I’m talking about too! I used to have a hard time letting go of friends/family but now I’m a (semi) pro and don’t feel bad about it!

      Catch ya lata,
      ~Kesha

  • Someone once said to me (and this has stayed with me) that people will often put you down or say negative things to you as a way of trying to get rid of their negativity (unconsciously). You can take it on or let it bounce off. I think its easier to let it bounce off of you if you see it in this light.

    It’s similar to when people say things to make you feel awful because that is how they are feeling. Over the years I have gotten better at this. I have to say that the voices I need to tune out are those pesky inner critics!

    • Yep, Petrea, what you’ve stated sounds similar to “misery loves company!” I guess that will never go away. I know that when others are negative, I need to steer clear and if I can’t, I need to “let it bounce off me” as you’ve indicated!

      The challenge is making sure I can let it bounce off faster each time until it becomes like second nature 😉

      Love your feedback and thanks for sharing!
      ~Kesha

  • When I think of being unbreakable, I think of being flexible. If I’m stiff and unyielding I might snap under enough pressure. When I’m open, humble and thoughtful, I am better able to learn what I can and shake off what isn’t true.

    Being unbreakable also brings to mind a regular practice of self-love and self-care. I’m far more resilient when I am emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically healthy and strong.

    Great topic, Kesha!

    Chrysta

    • Ahhh, refreshing to see your feedback Chrysta! The relation of being unbreakable to being flexible is directly proportional. Your whole comment sounds like something which should be in my journal *copies it down now* 😉

      Thanks much for sharing your thoughts!

      ~Kesha

  • Ellie Di

    I think there’s a lot to be said for all Susan’s points here. We should strive to be bigger than the pettiness of others and listen to our Self in order to keep in tune. But there’s still something to be said for vulnerability and, dare I say, weakness. By being constantly hard, unrelenting, driving can be exhausting. Don’t let other people break you, but don’t think you have to be an island or fortress all the time.

    • Absolutely Ellie! (and, yes, I’m late in responding but I know we briefly touched on this over on Twitter 😉 )…

      In Chrysta’s comment above, she alluded to the exact same thing by saying “When I think of being unbreakable, I think of being flexible…”

      I’m loving you guys’ feedback on this one as it will not only help me but others who come through as well!

      ~Kesha

  • love this Kesha. I used to let things bother me so much….now things and people hardly ever do, but when it does, I’m very aware of it and just smile saying to myself…..hey, look how you’re feeling…..chk in and see what’s going on…….so I kinda use it as part of my awareness practice.
    thank you for sharing!

    and ‘unbreakable’ reminds me of the movie with that same name which I loved… 🙂

    • Yes, Gina! That’s what I’m talking about! Being able to check in with self when things/people bother us. My test is how FAST I can bring it back and understand it’s them and not me who has the issue 🙂

      By the way, I remember the Unbreakable movie too and haven’t seen it in years! Maybe I’ll add it to my Netflix queue to watch it again sometime 🙂

      Thanks for commenting!

      ~Kesha

  • When I hear this kind of stuff the first thing that comes to mind is hip-hop music and rap. As the song goes “haters in the building”…LOL
    People that don’t like hip-hop miss out on the positive messages sometimes. If you can find one song that you like, just keep repeating your favorite line and skip the part you don’t like. Most rap artists put themselves on a pedestal and their words are good for the ego 🙂

    • You are right, Ileane, you never know where inspirational wisdom will come from – like in rap songs (the last place most people would think to look!).

      There’s a lot to be said of haters who drink haterade and practice haterism. LOL

      Our job, as I continue to learn everyday, is to not let it get to us, take what we can from it, and move on with our goals. I’m loving all the comments on this topic!

      Thanks for your feedback deary!

      ~Kesha

  • I am fortunate to have developed a thick skin- and an irrepressible urge to proceed (succeed) long ago. Between the “approbations” of my parents, and the “encouragement of my ex-wife”, I learned that “it’s gotta be me…”

    And, even if you HAVE encouragement and support- it still comes dowm to you! Don’t succumb.

    Great piece, Kesha..

    • Roy, I already know you have thick skin. You probably have the thickest skin of anybody I know (virtually or not)! I learn a lot from you – watching from the sidelines 😉

      Yes, it still comes down to me. That’s why I do my best to get over others’ negativity.

      Thanks Roy!!

      ~Kesha

  • Jo

    I’m not sure I have fully learnt the fine art of being unbreakable as I believe my vulnerability is my greatest strength. I do know however that if I do not say in the moment, or shortly after, that something rubbed me the wrong way, it causes way more drama.

    • That’s interesting Jo (your vulnerability being your strength). I can see that 🙂

      Also, I agree that sometimes we have to address things in the moment or it could get worse. I was just having a discussion with a friend of mine the other day about whether or not to address an issue before it causes more drama.

      Thanks for commenting!!

      ~Kesha

  • Palm Coast Plantation

    What a great topic for a blog article.

    I have a truly unbreakable spirit. I am hopelessly optimistic, and I attribute my success to this one very important quality that I possess. This enables me to be unbreakable because it allows me to see the good in the bad.

    When someone makes a comment to put us down, they are often striking out at an energy they can’t compete with. It’s almost like their subconscious mind is saying. “hey, this doesn’t feel good to be inferior to that go-getter over there. Quick, think of something to bring them down here and we can be happy together”.

    I dismiss these comments that lash out at me and let’s face it, it only really hurts when it comes from someone we truly care about, because they are not suppose to behave that way with our feelings at stake.

    Just remember that this is almost always a subconscious reaction that people have and not a premeditated action, therefore, I let them off the hook and in turn, I let myself off the hook.

    • I am soooo loving your comment! The phrase in my head right now after reading this is “It’s not you, it’s me.” LOL

      Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and I hope your words create more “unbreakable” spirits 🙂

      Hope to see you back soon!

      ~Kesha

  • You are right. I agree with your suggestions. Thanks for sharing great blog.

  • I love this post. It describes the way I see myself to the letter… unbreakable. The bible also refers to it as immovable in 1 Corinthians 15:58. Thanks for spreading this message – I’m making sure my tribe sees this…. you’re the best Twitter BFF!!!

    • So glad you like and will be sharing to your tribe…you’re awesome!! Hugs to you TBFF 🙂

      ~Kesha

  • I think there happens to be lot to be said for all Susan’s factors here. We should make the effort to be larger than the pettiness of others and pay attention to our Self to be able to keep in beat. But there can be still something to be said for weaknesses and, care I say, weak point. By being regularly difficult, undeniable, generating can be tiring.

  • Amen to this too. I’ll try your ideas on focusing on times when I was headlong driving towards a goal, but I know how hard it is to do sometimes when someone feels hellbent on making you feel small or less than you are, especially when they have some altitude over you. Big sigh!!

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