We’ve all been there – finding ourselves saying Yes and regret it later wishing we’d just said No!
Do you sometimes find it difficult to say “no”? Do you say Yes just to be nice but really don’t want to? Well, you’re not alone. I used to find it hard too because I wanted to please everyone and just be nice. Well, I’m a “Say No” sistah these days and loving it!
Why We Find It Hard To Say “No”
It’s only a little two letter word right? Okay, say it with me aloud – No. I didn’t hear you. Say it loud – NO!
Feels good doesn’t it
But you don’t say it aloud as often as you probably should. Why?
Celestine Chua of The Personal Excellence Blog offers the following reasons as to why people find it hard to say no:
- You want to help. You are a kind soul at heart. You don’t want to turn the person away and you want to help where possible, even if it may eat into your time.
- Afraid of being rude. I was brought up under the notion that saying “No”, especially to people who are more senior, is rude. This thinking is common in Asia culture (Editor’s note: this is common in a lot of cultures too), where face-saving is important. Face-saving means not making others look bad (a.k.a losing face).
- Wanting to be agreeable. You don’t want to alienate yourself from the group because you’re not in agreement. So you conform to others’ requests.
- Fear of conflict. You are afraid the person might be angry if you reject him/her. This might lead to an ugly confrontation. Even if there isn’t, there might be dissent created which might lead to negative consequences in the future.
- Fear of lost opportunities. Perhaps you are worried saying no means closing doors. For example, a wife of one of my clients was asked to transfer to another department in her company. Since she liked her team, she didn’t want to shift. However, she didn’t want to say no as she felt it would affect her promotion opportunities in the future.
- Not burning bridges. Some people take “no” as a sign of rejection. It might lead to bridges being burned and relationships severed.
Say No Cheat Sheet
To combat the above resistance issues we have with saying no, here’s a cheat sheet of 20 ways to say no, which will help you understand not just why to say no, but how. Enjoy!
Tip Sheet provided by OnlineOrganizing.com — offering “a world of organizing solutions!” Visit www.onlineorganizing.com for organizing products, free tips, a speakers bureau, get a referral for a Professional Organizer near you, or get some help starting and running your own organizing business.
How do you say no? Let me know in the comments below!